Eddie and the Parade: A Political Fairy Tale in the Making
There’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
There’s The Little Engine That Could.
And now, Reno gets its own work of fiction:
Eddie and the 4th of July Parade.
Because let’s be honest—this isn’t about patriotism, community, or even the Fourth of July. This is about one thing: getting Eddie Lorton’s name in the headlines. He wants voters to think he’s a parotic guy to get some extra votes. Cuz no one wants to lose for a fifth time.
And shame on any media outlet willing to play along—yes, including the Reno Gazette Journal.
If this were a serious proposal, it might help if Lorton—or anyone in his orbit—actually read the city staff report. The one that lays out what it really takes to pull off a parade in Reno:
568 hours of staff time just to plan it
280 additional hours for coordination and day-of staffing
And that’s before you even touch overtime, holiday pay, or the cost of police and fire services
Staff Report regarding the 4th of July Parade
But sure—let’s just throw one together in 90 days. What could possibly go wrong?
Even longtime event organizer Mr. Dennison—who has actually produced a Reno Fourth of July parade—said publicly he hasn’t even received a float application when he was producing the parade in Reno.
Page 2 with that pesky preliminary estimate of $105,000 for conducting this event.
So in three months, we’re going to go from zero to a full parade lineup?
That’s not planning. That’s wishful thinking.
And here’s the part no one seems to be asking:
What happens if Lorton doesn’t even make it through the primary?
Page 3 shows us the need for 568 hours of staff time for this parade. Really, Eddie wants the City of Reno to spend for a parade? Now that’s fiscally responsible.
Does the parade disappear along with the campaign?
Do the supporters pack up their red, white, and blue glitter and call it a day?
Because if this is truly about the community, it shouldn’t depend on one candidate’s political future.
But then again, this is the “new” Eddie Lorton.
The same candidate who sought a restraining order against a local journalist… over a meme.
Yes, really. And yes, it was covered—again—by the Reno Gazette Journal.
So here we are.
A parade proposal with no timeline, no infrastructure, no participants, and no guarantee the person behind it will even still be relevant in a matter of weeks.
All while city staff are expected to burn hundreds of hours entertaining the idea.
At some point, this stops being civic engagement and starts looking like a campaign prop.
A very expensive one.
Lorton likes a downtown location - he spoke at the now defunct Renoelections.org in 2018.
Because unlike fairy tales, this one comes with a real price tag—and taxpayers are the ones holding the bill for Eddie’s free public relations.
The parade will be heard at the City of Reno Council meeting on April 8th - we’ve published the staff report below.
But remember, this is the same “new” Eddie Lorton who, instead of brushing off criticism, went to court over a meme—seeking a restraining order against a local journalist.
Yes, a meme.
So while Reno is being asked to dedicate hundreds of staff hours to a last-minute parade proposal, Lorton will also be spending his time in court on Monday, April 13th trying to defend that decision.
It’s a big month: a parade decision one week, a courtroom appearance the next.
Leadership—or just headlines?
At some point, Reno has to decide.
Because unlike fairy tales, this story comes with real costs, real consequences, and a very real question:
Is this about celebrating a community…
or promoting a candidate?
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